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Joke of the Day
"Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence but they..."
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"Donald Trump had a great inauguration speech It sounds like he Putin a lot of practice"
"TIFU by getting on the wrong submarine Oops, wrong sub."
"I always sleep naked. I don't care if it makes people uncomfortable, they can just switch buses."
"[job interview] ""So we'll call you & let you know. Do you have any questions?"" Yes, can you text me instead to let me know?"
"What's bigfoot's favorite food? Sasquash!"
"Yo're so ugly, when your mom dropped you off at school she got a fine for littering."
"My superpower is predicting the exact day I'll need something that sat idle in a drawer for months so I can throw it away the day before."
"Bought cheap helium gas. Now boyfriend's annoying snoring doesn't make me want to kill him, but my fear of clowns has tripled.."
"I named my penis Richard That's long for Dick Hey - at least it's not another Turkey joke."