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Joke of the Day

"Don't you hate it when someone starts a sentence but they..."

"I put a message in a bottle and threw it in the Ocean. The note said ""I have Tuberculosis and I coughed in this bottle"""

"'No Panties Tuesday' is a thing, right? Or AKA, I really need to do some laundry."

"I wake my daughter up by tossing pebbles at her window so the first time a suitor tries she'll have the same response we do to alarm clocks"

"What is every Redditor's blood type? Edit: TypO"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Brother ! Brother who ? Brother-ation I've forgotten your name !"

"TIL %90 of statistics are made up. The other %10 comes after you make a title."

"What's grey and comes in gallons? An elephant."

"I hate church I hated church when I was a child, with all the standing and kneeling and sitting. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me."

"Two Kentucky psychology majors were walking through the campus. ""Do you consider a 1441.Q. high?"" ""Yes!"" ""For the whole basketball team?"""