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Joke of the Day

"[First Date] ""Okay don't let her know you're a tool shed"" Waiter: Anything to drink? Date: a screwdriver please *My head slowly opens*"

"What's DJ Khaleds favourite number? 11, because it has another one"

"How do you make a little boy cry twice when your finished wipe your dick on his favourite teddy bear"

"I used to have a 2 year old son, he died the same way Eric Clapton's son died... For inspiration"

"I like my coffee Like I like my women Strong and free!"

"HOT SINGLES IN YOUR FANNYPACK WANT TO GO IN THE VENDING MACHINE."

"Don't have your phone number posted on FB if you don't want me calling you at 3am drunk asking for the recipe of that cobbler you posted."

"I wanted to be a gynecologist, but I couldn't find an opening."

"Why don't blind people go for bungee jumping? it scares the shit out of the dogs."

"Hitler meets Anne Frank one day in the camp. Hitler: you know, I like you... how about you join me for dinner next Friday? Anne Frank: let me check my diary"