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Joke of the Day

"The real fight of the century was between, Jamie Foxx and the national anthem"

"Killing two birds with one stone this weekend Taking my mother to Hooters sounds rock solid."

"You can't trust atoms... They make up everything."

"I've never been camping but one time I ordered something from Amazon that wasn't Prime Eligible."

"My marriage counselor told me that I suffer from premature ejaculation... I said...""I don't suffer."""

"You mail one pig fetus with a note saying ""I'm oinkers for you!"" attached, and suddenly you're 'psycho'. Whatever."

"ISIS is knocking on my door recruiting... Cause I just bombed this physics test."

"My wife and I had a two-hour fight about whether or not we were fighting."

"What's blue and not heavy? ...Light blue"

"Hey, little bird! Maybe you wouldn't have to move your head around so much looking for threats if you didn't make so much god damn noise!"