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Joke of the Day

"I told my wife, ""no man should spend more time washing dishes than he does having sex!"" Our new dishwashing service is great."

"In high school, I was voted Most Likely To Keep Bringing Up Past Achievements."

"What is a wok? Something you throw at wabbits when you haven't got your wifle."

"""youre acting like a big baby"" wow great observation dipshit i am basically a baby that has aged a lot and gained weight. we all are"

"The Cosby Show Comeback The 80's TV series ""The Cosby Show"" is being reprised with Bill Cosby characters name being slightly altered from ""Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable"" to ""Dr. Creep-Dick Fucktable."

"How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck it's dick."

"Five years in, my marriage is like Girls Gone Wild: after a few drinks the cracks start to appear."

"The opposite of ""Free Willy"" is ""Predestinationy."""

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Candice ! Candice who ? Candice get any better !"

"Target had a credit card breach? But only with in-store purchases, not online? More proof you're better off staying home with no pants on."