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Joke of the Day

"""This is where the magic happens."" - Harry Potter walking into his bedroom and every other room on MTV Cribs."

"I love wearing ear-buds and listening to the music loud at the gym, because no one can hear you if you fart...Why is everyone looking at me?"

"From the list of things you should not be cheap about: pens, chairs, prostitutes, coffee, and dentists."

"I can never talk to my Dad at breakfast because he still reads newspapers. I guess you could say he's behind The Times."

"10, 27, 28, 30, 32 walk into a bar... 10 says ""I'm drinking age, I swear!"" The bartender says ""Outlier!"""

"I hate gay people They are a pain in my ass."

"Why are elephants big, wrinkled, grey, and hairy? Because if they were small, smooth, white, and hairless, they'd beaspirin tablets!"

"Kristen Stew@rt is apologizing for ""everything she has done"", which I'm assuming includes the Twilight series."

"Why was the man at the cookout so happy? He met the grill of his dreams."

"Knock knock Who's there? Police. Your wife has been involved in a terrible car accident."