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Joke of the Day

"Geez, I'm so sorry...I'm not normally ticklish. (me to the nail lady I just kicked in the face during my pedicure)"

"After reading about Rihanna's thug life tattoo, I think we all owe Chris Brown an apology."

"Have you seen the prices of Almonds and Cashews? They're nuts."

"I have an intense fear of hiccups Luckily, I only ever have one."

"Ain't therapy great? He yawns, but doesn't seem bored, If you think of his bill, you are poor, If you're feeling blue, and want to get screwed, ""The Rapist"" -it's there on his door."

"I'll bet your parents hit the JERKpot!"

"They say every 2 out of 3 people live next door to a pedophile Not me, I live next to 2 smoking hot 8 year olds"

"How does the Pope get around New York City? Mass Transit!"

"In pretty sure my wife's most prized possession is her plastic bag full of other plastic bags."

"Why don't you buy sunscreen from Steve Irwin? Because it doesn't protect you from harmful rays"