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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a fish Feed him for a day. Give a man a poisoned fish, feed him for the rest of his life."

"#NoMore All of these NoMore commercials make me want to punch my wife"

"Saw this stunning girl at a bar last night. I got her a drink, walked over to her and then felt my knees go weak and my stomach turn to butterflies. Turns out that I spiked the wrong drink by mistake."

"What do you call an intersection where a lot of Asians cross? A cross-wok."

"Hate being a funeral director ""why'd u take the job?"" I inherited it from my dad ""You could've just declined it"" And lose my first customer?"

"Smartphones are a lot like instant coffee... They're both good 'till the last drop."

"How do you give a catholic priest a circumcision? Kick the altar boy in the chin."

"I keep waiting for my Cadbury Creme Eggs to hatch into Cadbury Creme Chickens, but no luck so far. And sitting on them certainly didn't help"

"Little Ghost So this little ghost floated by my room twice headed the same direction: left to right, left to right. I'm guessing it was just deja boo."

"What did the waiter ask the group of Jewish mothers? Is *anything* okay?!"