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Joke of the Day

"Why are guys so desperate for oral sex? We swallow over 57 spiders a yr while sleeping.The odds that 1 could come back up should terrify you"

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"Good cop: where's the body? Bad cop: answer him! *pounds table* Jenga cop: God damn it!"
"My girlfriend is like my will to live Nonexistent."
"Sex with homeless people is in-tents."
"Harambe jokes... Can we kill them too?"
"The nominees are Leonardo DiCaprio Leonardo DiCaprio Leonardo DiCaprio And the winner is *opens envelope* mad max fury road"
"What do you get when you throw a grenade into a kitchen in France? Linoleum blown apart"
"Why is Natural Light Bear Grylls favorite beer? Cause it tastes like piss."
"[murder scene] MORGAN FREEMAN: there are 7 deadly sins: Pride, greed, envy, lust, wrath and gl [sees victim wearing crocs] There are 8 dea"
"Eating With The Shakes If a person with Parkinson's is eating a brownie, Is it ""Brownie in motion""?"