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Joke of the Day

"If you're anxious and you know it...Clasp your hands."

"Roses are red, I have a phone. No one texts me, forever alone."

"What's a rabbits' favorite musical? Hare."

"I really hate stoners... They are so blunt about everything."

"They say there's safety in numbers... Well tell that to 6 million Jews"

"When a dog is in heat, it means it wants sex. That is my defense!"

"What did the mama bison say to her son when he went off to college Bison. :> get it?"

"I went into a store with my kid and came out with a different one by accident. This one is a keeper. He says he does brake work. Well see."

"Did you hear about the upcoming play based on the life of Elton John? It's a little bit funny."

"TIL that Harriet Tubman sought a monthly pension of $25 a month for services in the civil war ,but was only awarded $20. 100+ years later we're still only giving her a $20."