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Joke of the Day

"My doctor told me I am anorexic Now I have that to deal with on top of being fat"

"Oscar Pistorius found guilty of murder Police say he is now on the run."

"I was raised by my father. He was a competitive poker player."

"Dad:why are your eyes so red? Son: i was smoking marijuana Dad: don't lie to me, you were crying because you're a faggot"

"""...and then she farted and I swear her butt plug shot across the room like a rocket! That's the last time we have Taco Bell."""

"Why did Sally fall off her swing? Because she had no arms"

"Why did Steve fall off the swing? Because he was a potato!"

"How many more spills do you think parents in paper towel commercials can take before they just push one of those kids down the stairs?"

"I couldn't work at a Rainforest Cafe without yelling ""You know where you are? You're in the jungle baby! You're gonna die!"""

"Did you just call me a boombox? Eugh that's such a stereotype"