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Joke of the Day

"I couldn't work at a Rainforest Cafe without yelling ""You know where you are? You're in the jungle baby! You're gonna die!"""

"You know what's the biggest turn off for me? Consent."

"Why was the tallest man in the world troubled? Because he had no one to look up to."

"Accidentally put Red Bull in my coffee maker this morning. I was going 130 mph down the interstate when I realized that I forgot my car."

"Most of the things I would kill myself over losing didn't even exist 10 years ago."

"I was talking to my friend earlier. I thought, ""Why on earth are you called Earlier?"""

"3 white girls go to a hotel . whats it called the "" i can't eve inn"

"Zoo Keeper:""I've lost one of my elephants"" Other Zoo Keeper:""Why don't you put an advert in the paper?"" Zoo Keeper:""Don't be silly he can't read!"""

"FUN PRANK: tweet ""going hang gliding!!!!"" then don't tweet again for 12 years"

"I was going to make a joke about asians... ...but that would be waisis."