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Joke of the Day

"Cop: Know why I pulled you over? ""No"" Cop: *points* Your buck naked [turns to deer in passenger seat] ""Jesus Frank, put your fur back on"""

"I'm writing a book on procrastination I'm only on page 1 sadly"

"What does a trumpet player use as contraception? His personality."

"What did the chick pea say when it got a stomach ache? I falafel."

"Why did the crow go to the gym? To work on his caw strength."

"I don't get why Robert and Cersei never seemed to get along... They didn't even have a legitimate issue."

"I never feel more hypocritical than when I tell my kid she's been on the computer too much."

"If I ever go missing, my dumbass family will pick a photo where I look happy and my hair looks good, and I'll never been seen alive again."

"How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin? They use a Milwaukee-Talkie"

"I told my parents to put their Euros in my UK bank account, just in case. It didn't work."