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Joke of the Day
"When you're sad, hug a kid. But make sure it's yours cuz that shit would be weird."
Next Joke
"GOD: Mark, I have chosen you. You will know answers to all of life's mysteries, just listen to the voicemail I left you. ME: voicemail? ugh"
"Which two farm animals are the dirtiest? Brown chicken brown cow.."
"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Werewolf Barbie ...normal doll except under a full moon"
"How did I escape Iraq? Iran."
"A man put a sail on his bike... He was gone with the Schwinn."
"Found out i was colourblind the other day.. Hit me right out of the purple"
"When I go to a birthday party... I like to pull out the gifts I got and show and tell everyone what I brought for the birthday person... I just want my presence to be known..."
"Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with the Godfather? A: An offer you can't understand."
"Trust me, when they make a pill that REALLY makes your d!ck grow, that commercial will be on during the Super Bowl, not 3am!"