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Joke of the Day

"Trust me, when they make a pill that REALLY makes your d!ck grow, that commercial will be on during the Super Bowl, not 3am!"

"I used to think an ocean of soda existed. Turns out it was just Fanta sea."

"She- get lost Me- *jumps in her wardrobe*"

"I'm considering becoming a mind reader. What are your thoughts?"

"Whenever I lose my micrometer I use my dick."

"Did you know.. Statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape?"

"What is Michael Bay's favorite phone? Note 7"

"FUN PRANK: when a stranger hands you their phone to take a picture of their family, take a selfie instead and also steal their phone"

"I noticed that my waitress had a black eye... So I ordered veeerrryyy slooowwwly, because she obviously doesn't listen."

"So my friend held up a can of coke... And asked, ""How do people snort this stuff?"""