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Joke of the Day

"[Job Interview] *okay, he can't find out I'm a wolf* *fixes tie* *checks breath* IS THAT A PICTURE OF YOUR BABY SHE LOOKS DELICIOUS"

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"I like my women how I like my video on VLC player always on top"
"Does anyone on here know how to ""unhook"" Amazon from my Twitter so that I can order things without giving people the idea I am Really bald??"
"Psychiatrist to Internal Revenue agent on couch: ""Nonsense! No way does everyone in the world hate you -- everyone in the US perhaps but certainly not everyone in the world."""
"""Who ate all the crackers?!"" - racist cannibal."
"What's the difference between my ex and the titanic? The titanic only went down on 1,000 people!"
"The people of Pompeii... Mannequin challenge champions since 79AD."
"Confucius say man who at night have scratchy bottom have at morning smelly fingers"
"I just saw a group of pandas pooping on the ground together What an embarrassment"
"Why is studying statistics hard to do in Afghanistan? because of the tally-ban"