167048

Joke of the Day

"Simba, everything the light touches is our kingdom ""wat abot that shadowy place. by 5pm it wil be in the sun"" ..who told you about science"

"Do you want to 68? You go down on me and I'll owe you one."

"I couldn't be on a reality show because I wouldn't want my mom to see how many times I make the jerk-off motion when we talk on the phone."

"The doctors tested a man to see if he was gay. He passed with flying colors."

"Grocery stores nowadays have amazing selection We have powdered milk, powdered orange juice, powdered eggs, baby powder..."

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef."

"The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend, I said to her, ""Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy."" She said, ""Why did you say that twice?"" I said, ""I didn't."""

"Just watched the movie 2012 and honestly I don't remember any of that happening."

"So You Think You're The One Guy Who Can Wear A Fedora Without Looking Like A Douche"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."