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Joke of the Day

"My parents always taught me to pursue my dreams. That's why I take so many naps."

"Give a woman an inch and she probably won't call you back."

"TIL that the famous teacher Anne Sullivan once accidentally taught the wrong class after the legitimate teacher couldn't make it and the alternate teacher was late. Whoops, wrong sub."

"I came into some wealth recently, but it turns out my bank doesn't accept that kind of deposit."

"There is a nudist convention on in town next week. I might go if I have nothing on."

"Teacher: How much is half of 8? Pupil: Up and down or across? Teacher: What do you mean? Pupil: Well up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!"

"Sports Hockey has the Blues. Football has the Browns. Baseball has the Reds. What does basketball have? l l l l l The Blacks."

"Hey bro do you remember your first blowjob? How did it taste?"

"I'm a bad person... (NSFW) Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cannelloni ! Cannelloni who ? Cannelloni some money till next week ?"