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Joke of the Day

"him: i love you me: im saving my emotions for the star wars premiere"

"What's squawky, worn out, and falls from foot easily? An old shoe... ...and Ronda Rousey"

"What do you call a dog who likes a lot of bass in his music? A Sub-Woofer."

"I married a chinese millionaire Ka Ching"

"You all know how it got started with Jared right? He walked into a Subway and asked for a sub. They said ""6 or 12?"" He replied with ""doesn't matter."""

"Wheelchair tax The new tax on wheelchairs has been met with major resistance, with some users refusing to stand for it."

"I lost my mood ring. I'm not sure how I feel about this."

"A horse moved next door to me yesterday. I heard that they make good neighbors."

"HD porn is so clear that you can actually see how disappointed their parents are."

"I can't believe how strong the winds were last night. I nipped out to get my wife some milk and got blown into the f*cking pub."