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Joke of the Day

"I like my women the same way I like my guns... Black and oily with a sensitive trigger."

"What's the least spoken language in the world? Sign language."

"Where do people in Ghana go to watch football? The Ghanarena"

"I had a big mix up at the store today. Apparently when the clerk said strip down facing me, she was referring to my credit card."

"My x-girlfriend had a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh It was amazing! If you put your ear to it you could smell the ocean!!!"

"Where did the seaweed... Where did the seaweed find a job? In the ""Kelp Wanted"" section of the want-ads."

"I recently quit my job as a scuba diving instructor I couldn't handle the pressure."

"Looking to sell me theremin. Haven't touched it in years."

"Mum: Why hasn't ________? been around lately? I thought you were good friends? Me: Because he turned into a cunt."

"Why do elephants have trunks ? Because they would look silly carrying suitcases !"