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Joke of the Day

"A Roman man walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers... and says ""5 beers thanks""."

"The way I react when my alarm clock goes off can best be described as ""17-year-old girl being denied a curfew extension."""

"The funniest thing about being sober is to realize you were so drunk last night you were tweeting all night with a calculator."

"What do you call a black woman that has had seven abortions? A crime fighter"

"""Choas Theory""-themed restaurant: Eating Disorder"

"What does being questioned by interpol have in common with cunnilingus? One slip of the tongue and you're in the shit"

"Did you hear that the Apple CEO announced he was gay? The next day the Samsung CEO also announced he was gay and waterproof."

"A doctor says, ""I have bad news, and very bad news."" ""What's the bad news?"" Asked the patients. ""You only have 24-hours to live."" ""And the really bad news?"" I should have told you yesterday."

"5 birds are on a fence, you shoot one, how many are left. None they all flew away."

"My mom asks if I could help her bake bread this Christmas. She kneads me."