103792

Joke of the Day

"A bit of Christmas Doggerel Oh, you better not shout, you better not cry, you better bite the pillow, cuz I'm going in dry."

"How many scientists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Significantly more than zero, *p* < .001."

"Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest."

"What's the best thing to put into a pie Your teeth."

"3 hours until I get to pretend I know how to do 6th grade math homework....."

"I saw a sign that said ""watch for children"". and I thought, ""That sounds like a fair trade"""

"Are you reading this from a toilet? I'm writing this from one."

"I hate when people text me ""what are you doing?"" at 1:00 pm on a weekday. Well I don't have your Art History degree, so probably ""working""."

"Watching my kid pick his nose is disgusting. He wipes the boogers on his shirt instead of the closest cat like a normal person."

"I took my item up to the counter. ""I'd like to return this,"" I said, with a tear in my eye, ""It didn't work."" He said, ""I'm sorry. We can't do that with condoms."""