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Joke of the Day

"As I looked at my naked body in the mirror, I thought to myself: ""I'm going to get thrown out of this home depot in a minute."""

"I lost my mood ring... I lost my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about this."

"I have just invented a perfume made from holy water Eau my god"

"I went into panera the other day The clerk said, ""do you want a side of chips or a French baguette?"" I replied, ""never baguette."""

"What's the summer weather like for a London criminal? Hot, wet, and muggy."

"When you're single expiration dates are more of a suggestion."

"How many Anime characters does it take to screw in a light bulb? Only 1, but it takes them 15 episodes to do it."

"Why are white girls so odd? Because they don't *even*."

"What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block."

"I wish my grass was more emo. Then it would cut itself."