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Joke of the Day

"If you're going to do something illegal don't plan it through Facebook Do it somewhere private where no one will see you, like google+."

Next Joke
 
"Annoying guy trying to hit on me: This is like a scene from a romantic movie. Me: Yeah, I'm the iceberg and you're the Titanic. #Queen"
"Teenage daughter called me an old fart. We both laughed and then I changed the password to our wifi."
"How do you know if a chef is also a mathematician.. ...the proof is in the pudding..."
"the times they are indeed a changin..but the one time thatll never change is Lunch time. lock them engagements in if you think this is good."
"What do you call a Belgian with a cold? Phlegmish"
"Doctor doctor I'm manic-depressive. Calm down. Cheer up. Clam down. Cheer up. Calm"
"What's up? Up is the Y-axis relative vertical direction opposed to down."
"What did the officials say whenever systematic punishment was banned? There's no punchline."
"""WHY CAN'T YOU BE MORE LIKE MY IPHONE"" - new thing I scream at my kids"