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Joke of the Day

"Mi amigo Jesus is a great work out partner but... He just won't shut up about how he invented *Cross-Fit*"

"Q: How did the blonde kill her toy poodle? A: Trying to put batteries in it."

"In Texas we pronounce it ""nu-que-lur"" I'm often harassed about how I pronounce nuclear but I think fair is fair. If Yankees can have silent letters I don't see how come we can't have invisible ones!"

"How come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie"

"Pineapple & Semen Isn't it odd that pineapple makes semen taste good, yet semen makes pineapple taste like shit. Credit to Harris Wittels"

"A motorist was pulled over by a traffic cop. ""Excuse me, sir,"" said the cop. ""Do you realize your wife fell out of the car two miles back?"" ""Thank God,"" he said. ""I thought I'd gone deaf!"""

"How often do I tell chemistry jokes. Periodically"

"What did the Mexican detective say in England? I'm like Sherlock, holmes."

"I have the opposite of a photographic memory i have a potatographic memory."

"How can you tell your room mates gay? His dick tastes like shit."