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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell your room mates gay? His dick tastes like shit."

"Meanwhile India is just blown away that you can get Britain to leave by voting"

"Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman."

"Mum does God use the bathroom? No what a funny question! Then why did Dad say this morning 'Oh God are you still in there?'"

"Go to a Mexican restaurant, get a table for two, tell them you're waiting for your date & then eat free chips & salsa for 7 years."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs inside a volcano? Anakin Skywalker. (Happy Geek Pride Day!)"

"How did Bilbo survive the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy? Because old Hobbits die hard..."

"What did the slug say to the snail? Would you like a copy of the big issue?"

"What do you get it you cross a porcupine with a giraffe? A long necked toothbrush."

"What am I doing today? Well I forgot my headphones so probably murders."