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Joke of the Day

"Breaking up with your significant other is like bowling You carry something heavy going into it, and if it goes as planned, you walk away with an X."

"What did the Brontosaurus say to the Stegosaurus? ""Get Jurassic over here!"""

"The other day I stayed in a very swanky hotel ... ... I had to shave before they let me go in their barbershop."

"What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely it's a gift!"

"*goes on job interview* -You come very highly recommended. -Why thank you, I always try to be as stoned as possible before I come to work."

"Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer? Because you said it was pound cake!"

"Larry is a biologist who prefers to observe his deep-sea specimens up close in the field He works well under pressure"

"Two Ninjas What do you call two ninjas named Charlie, stranded outside on a cold night? Numchucks."

"I can't help but feel important when someone says there's a special place in hell for people like me."

"What's a vampire's favourite dance? The vaults!"