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Joke of the Day

"The other day I stayed in a very swanky hotel ... ... I had to shave before they let me go in their barbershop."

"What do you call a cold puppy? A chili dog."

"What do 9 out of 10 people call a good time? Gang rape."

"More people die from drug overdose than guns... Because guns can't take drugs."

"What was the deaf mans favorite song? The Sound of Silence."

"What slides in and out until it's balls are busted? Piston"

"Santa is never lonely He has many deer friends"

"According to the bloodwork I had done at my doctor's office, I'm 12 percent cake."

"Doesn't count, officer, you forgot to read me my amanda rights! ""Your what?"" You know, my... [mumbles] banana rights."

"Did you hear about that actress that murdered her husband? Reese...I can't remember her last name. She was in the Johnny Cash movie... *Witherspoon?!?* No...of course not! She used a knife!"