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Joke of the Day

"I can't help but feel important when someone says there's a special place in hell for people like me."

"I just finished an exciting book on 19th century shipbuilding techniques... It was riveting."

"What did Sherwock say to Watsun while vacationing in Tokyo? Well done, old Jap."

"I'll put a comma, after a comma, even if it doesn't need a comma, to completely, drive you, insane."

"Girls be having unprotected sex but then have the best case for their iPhone. They care more about their phone than their pussy"

"Watched Michael phelps, paragon of athleticism, win a 4th gold medal in a row while I ate a comically large mole-drenched Mexican sandwich"

"Sorry I conned your kid out of their Chuck E Cheese tickets. Maybe try not raising a sucker. Now excuse me, I have a sweet toy to play with."

"There was a new machine at the gym today. I had to stop using it after an hour as i felt sick, but it was worth it got through 4 kit kats 2 cherry cokes and 2 packets of crisps."

"What is Snoop Dogg's favorite weather? Drizzle"

"How does a cat tell time?? In meowers"