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Joke of the Day
"Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer? Because you said it was pound cake!"
Next Joke
"Saw a FB group called 'I hate rapists'. *Phew* glad we solved that problem. Anything else we need to tackle while I've got the keyboard out?"
"I got stopped by a woman in the street today. She said, ""Excuse me, sir, have you had an accident in the last three years that wasn't your fault?"" I said, ""Yes, she's nearly 2 now."""
"The sculpture of Amelia Earhart in the Burbank airport doesn't give me that warm fuzzy feeling before flying."
"Guy: Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Sorry, but alcohol is bad for my legs. Guy: Do they swell? Girl: No. They spread"
"you met the short guy who came out of the cupboard? that was a low blow"
"If CON is the opposite of PRO is congress the opposite of progress?"
"Why pink camo? Do people hunt barbie jeeps or try to sneak up on pepto bismol?"
"I hate it when you're on the bus and the local weirdo get on and sits next to you. You know, the ones that watch you having a wank."
"""I don't know what else to say..."" Me, giving my husband false hope"