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Joke of the Day

"Have you seen www.shelterfromtherain.com? Yes but it doesn't really stand out."

"What's it called when a hippy hangs himself? Tie-die"

"Some guy died at the gym... They had to deadlift him out."

"I was going to see your comedy but then a critic called it ""Delightful."""

"What did the man get when he shop lifted a calander? 12 months"

"Some people are like 5yr olds, they shake heads in agreement, but you KNOW by the look in their eyes, they have no clue what you just said."

"If the Mayans have taught us anything, it is that if you don't finish something, it's not the end of the world."

"A good way to get to know your date is to ask about their first pet, favorite movie, and mom's maiden name. Then login and read all their emails."

"My grandma was recently beaten to death.. She came in just after my granddad"

"So I encountered my friend with a penguin next to him.. So I said to my friend: ""You should take that penguin to the zoo"" So he responds: ""I already did that, but he didn't like it"""