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Joke of the Day

"*filming the Buick commercial with Matthew McConaughey* ""the leather keeps sticking to my back"" ""for the last time Matt keep ur shirt on"""

"Sometimes I feel so lucky to be American... Not like those poor kids in Africa, or the euthanasia."

"I'm so sick of this debate. Of COURSE, the chicken came first! Are you saying I don't know how to properly fuck a chicken?"

"How is it that rice originated from China to become a staple food for a large part of the world's human population? I mean, come on! They couldn't even pronounce it."

"I hate spelling errors. I mean, one simple mistake and your entire post is urined."

"What do you call the deaf man with no limbs? Whatever you want."

"Knock Knock Knock knock Knock knock knock knock KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK Whitney, Hurry up in there I gotta take a shit!!!"

"Need quick joke idea before I leave work My boss is requiring me to tell one funny quick joke before I leave work. I need your help Reddit!"

"""Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain."" - me, peeping at you in the shower"

"The good news is it wasn't a bug. The bad news is I beat the crap out of a black bean on the floor with my shoe."