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Joke of the Day

"Why did the hipster chemist get burnt? He touched the beaker before it was cool."

"If my kid turns out to be a criminal, I am totally blaming Grand Theft Auto and not my shitty parenting."

"What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks"

"We should legalize heroin just for the commercials alone"

"My wife treats me like a God Every evening at dinner I get a burnt offering."

"What did the cannibalistic lion do? Swallow his pride."

"If I had a million dollars for every time I looked at the negative side of things, I'd have way too many god damn taxes to pay."

"Have you heard about the new car park crime statistics? It's wrong on so many levels."

"Why did gays started to join NSA? They thought it stood for 'no straight allowed'."

"What did water say when it found out hydrogen is a diatomic? H2? Oh!"