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Joke of the Day

"How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? Well apparently not eight cause my basement is still dark."

"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance: the five stages of me hitting the snooze button in the morning."

"I'm a simple mathematician... I see 281x285, I like."

"What do you call a fat computer? A Dell ( probably a repost, I laughed tho)"

"Be great if just once the winning actor was like ""I mean it wasn't a particularly strong group this year, but still."""

"My dog kept barking at me I'm not sure why hes in love with roofs."

"Who has the easiest job in the world right now? Joan Rivers' embalmer."

"Swim swim swim breach surface fly through air catch seagull swim nom nom nom swim swim"

"I've just got my own valet and found people treat you completely differently. He's opened a lot of doors for me."

"pizza has 5 letters if u double that u get 10 if u divide that by 2 u get 5 & if u do some more math u get 666 coincidence i think not"