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Joke of the Day

"[Next door dog barking] Me: *inserts earpugs* [Barking intensifies] Me: wtf................haha oh *removes earpugs and inserts earplugs*"

"A Irishman, Mick goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pain... Doctor: ""Well I cant find anything wrong with you , it must be the drinking"" Mick : ""Ill come back when you're sober Doctor"""

"What did the head say to the butt? Better to be ahead than behind."

"A Muslim walks into the U.S Just kidding"

"My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith. So I asked him ""What was the name of his other leg?"""

"Last night I dreamed that I was a homeless dog It was pretty *ruff*."

"I got in a fight with Dwayne Johnson. As I threw the first punch, he turned around on the spot. And that, that is when I knew I'd hit rock bottom."

"What does a gay horse eat? Dick you idiot."

"What do you call a morality story with sharp teeth and green scales? An allegory."