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Joke of the Day

"People ask me the secret of a good tweet. It's called ""proof-reading"". Perhaps you've hard of it"

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder... of someone else, who isn't quite as absent."

"Boy, I hate small talk. *coworkers all grimace* He's right behind me isn't he? *Small talk starts cracking his knuckles*"

"I used to be into necrophilia, S&M, and Bestiality... Then I realized I was beating a dead horse..."

"There's this dog teaching me some new dance moves. He's a corgi-ographer."

"If a Norwegian robot... If a Norwegian robot analyzes a bird, it Scandinavian."

"Which wrestler has the finisher that stings the most? Stone Cold Steve Irwin."

"Django and Bjork, sitting in a tree, j-j-j-j-j-j-j."

"My kids have voted, and the results are in. It's official, I've been elected the President of Empty Threats."

"Dark humor is like food... ...not everyone gets it."