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Joke of the Day

"I'm a 40 yr old man sitting at a Cafe with my eyes closed, squirting packets of mayo from under the table at the window as people walk by."

"The Chipotle I went to apologized for not having any lettuce today. I said ""It's cute that you think I'm here for that."""

"Step aside coffee, this is a job for alcohol."

"Today's average 5 yr old can't tie his own shoes & probably still shits his pants, but he'll solve your wireless network problem."

"There's something actionable in your pants."

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? Perk up or people will think you're nuts!"

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as a choirboy."

"What do you call emigrates of Sweden? Swedouts."

"What's the mass of a large chunk of tree? 10g"

"Why was epsilon afraid of zeta? Because zeta ate a theta"