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Joke of the Day

"If eHarmony were honest, it would pair some people with a room full of cats."

"Why do women love chocolate? Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing."

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You can't milk a cow for 10 years"

"Did you hear about the Million Dollar Dutch Lottery? It's great! If you win, you gat a dollar each year... for a million years."

"What do you call a tennis match between Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder? Endless love"

"I once played chess with an Egyptian King... ...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh."

"Call a woman beautiful a hundred times... Call a woman beautiful hundred times, and she won't remember. But call her fat just *one* time, and she'll never forget. Because elephants never forget."

"My girlfriend has accused me of stalking her. Well, technically she's not my girlfriend yet."

"What is the best way to stop rape? Consent"

"911: what is your emergency? Me: HE READ BUT DIDN'T REPLY"