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Joke of the Day

"I once played chess with an Egyptian King... ...I was distracted for a moment, and when I turned around he was blatantly attempting to cheat. I told him that that wasn't very pharaoh."

"Why do farts smell? ... For the benefit of the deaf!"

"How does a turtle grate cheese? Shredder"

"What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce? Chicken sees a salad"

"What's the difference between a cow and 9/11? You can't milk a cow for 14 years... I'm going to hell."

"Did you hear about the Feminist gun? She got triggered."

"""Bartender, I'd like to buy that table of women debating their favorite season of The Bachelor a round of cats"""

"They're demanding figgy pudding. They won't go until they get some. What do I do? Call the cops? I'm calling the cops."

"If you eat the prize from a cereal box.. does that make you a specially marked box? source: soos says some words"

"1942: How can we beat the Nazis? 1968: How can we go to the moon? 2006: How can a phone be a supercomputer? 2016: How can we beat the Nazis?"