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Joke of the Day

"there is nothing wrong with being nice, but there is something wrong with being nice to people."

"What did Hillary Clinton do when her email was hacked? She asked Donald Trump to build a firewall."

"I never wanted to believe that my father was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"Why are the Panama Leaks so important, anyways? I mean that canal fucking sucks, so who cares."

"Walk up to someone drinking coffee and ask them if their coffee tastes different today. Then smile and walk away."

"What do you call a huge pile of kittens? A meowntain!"

"It's easier to compliment a woman when you're traveling with a toddler. ""Son, say hi to the beautiful lady with the piercing green eyes."""

"Just another day grabbing random children by the shoulders and screaming ""I'M YOU FROM THE ""FUTURE!"" in their faces.."

"What do you call a gay anemic? homo-goblin"

"That question from your wife for which either answer is wrong Apparently the third answer ""it's not the dress"" isn't right either."