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Joke of the Day

"What causes dimples? Its how many times your dad poked you in the face when he was fucking your mom when she was pregnant with you"

"Wow, I wish people were into politics as much as they're into sports. *meets someone who's really into politics* Wow, I wish I was dead."

"What is a neckbeard's favorite color? M'genta"

"What do you get hanging from Father Christmas' roof? Tired arms!"

"I put my phone on airplane mode. Now I can't find it."

"If we took Korea's capital away ... They would be Seoulless"

"*armadillo comes rolling back in the ball return* ""Wait.. if you're here, then..."" *cut to wife sobbing at bowling ball* ""UNCURL, FREDRICK!"""

"In what school subjects does the teacher say 'Well done hamburgers'? A wide range of subjects - meatyeval history meatematics and word grill."

"*watches a movie with you* *loudly beeps during all the good parts*"

"A Slinky is a great way to teach young children that it's fun to push things down the stairs."