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Joke of the Day

"My mom once got drunk and stabbed me because I look like my Father... ...But hey the past is the past. She's sober now and I can finally walk again."

"Why did the empty string do immoral things? Because it had no character."

"a man goes to a crowded church walks up to the only available seat and says ""is this seat *SAVED*?"

"What is a name for a female lawyer? Sue"

"There's a man at the mall wearing cargo pants and a fanny pack, who I believe is in the process of becoming a suitcase."

"The record companies have done a good job of fighting piracy by releasing music no one wants to steal."

"Africa and Asia are playing baseball Asia strikes out Africa, Europe"

"I have an amazing gardener who's both vision impaired and dyslexic. His work is Mind BLowing"

"I think this lady I'm stalking just found out. She changed her wifi name to: ""Hey you in the tree. I've called the cops."""

"What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce in the South? Nothing, someone's losing the trailer. -Robin Williams"