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Joke of the Day

"If I'm ever on life support, unplug me... Then plug me back in. See if that works."

"What's the difference between jelly & jam? I can't jelly my dick down your throat"

"What would a diatomic Calcium molecule look like if existed? Like Crap or Feces (its the same) WHY? Because its Ca=Ca (equal sign is a double bond)"

"So Snookie is pregnant 10 to 1 odds all the baby's pictures have the duck face...."

"We're making self portrait masks in art class. I think I'll get an A+. I could just be getting ahead of myself."

"This Is A Dirty Joke A white horse fell in the mud"

"I have a gardening tool that I use to dig up large amounts of treasure So yeah, I got a big booty hoe"

"Why does an inspiring sight like a sunrise always have to take place at such an inconvenient time?"

"I can't wait to be 80 & nostalgic over the time I spent staring at my phone screen."

"I've never approached even 10% of Aerosmith's level of excitement that a dude looks like a lady."