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Joke of the Day

"If life had a 'CTRL + ALT + DEL' option, you bet your ass I'd be hitting that thing about 14 times a day."

"My Butt giving the day off to employees on Thanksgiving.. **PSYCHE** Probably gonna take a huge dump instead."

"What Do You Call a Terrible German Hot-dog Stand Owner? The Wurst Guy."

"English is difficult to learn. It can be taught through tough thorough thought, though."

"My girlfriend must think I'm rich and dying She keeps telling me to leave her a loan"

"""Squad goals,"" I said, aloud, to nobody, as two rats helped each other move an entire bagel into a hole in the subway tracks"

"My favorite sex position is solely based on how bad your breath is."

"Idea: Like Google Glass, but a necklace or something that projects a website onto the face of the person talking to you."

"where does honey come from? beez nuts"

"What did the Soviet man have to say about the Nazis? U SS R the worst"