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Joke of the Day

"Q: What did Tarzan shout when he saw the elephants coming up over the hill? A: ""Here come the elephants up over the hill!"""

"Since Thanksgiving is tomorrow How do you keep a turkey in suspense?"

"In regards to the Noah movie: Make sure you take someone with you, I heard they're only selling tickets in pairs."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No eye-deer! What do you call a deer with no eyes or legs? Still no eye-deer!"

"Just got Lasik. 20/20 would do again."

"Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number. You pick up the wrong phone."

"Being a little bit crazy is like being a little bit pregnant - you can only hide it for so long."

"Humpty Dumpty , that sly bastard Humpty Dumpty sat on his bed, As Little Bo Beep was giving him head, Just as he came she began to weep, She could tell by the taste, He'd been screwing her sheep ! !"

"People who say I'm hard to shop for obviously didn't see how excited I just got finding an almond on the couch."

"Wanna hear a dirty joke? A white horse fell in the mud."