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Joke of the Day

"Just got Lasik. 20/20 would do again."

"Today, I went to the toilet without bringing my phone. There are 178 tiles in the bathroom all and 6 stalls in total."

"What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks!"

"My dog jumped in the washing machine yesterday. Don't worry, at least he died in comfort."

"How do you tune a fish? With its scales!"

"Stop. Stop it right now. I'm going to count to five. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. ~A parenting haiku."

"Who has the biggest duck in Compton? A tripod"

"New drinking game! Draw a card. If it's black take a shot. I call it the Ferguson"

"What does A&W stand for? 'Amburgers & Woot Beer! Edit: Thanks to my dad for this one."

"Being a courteous dinner guest, I always offer to do the dishes. I'm not the one who's going to eat off them next. Quick rinse works for me."