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Joke of the Day

"To the guy who stole my camouflage jacket on the bus while I was asleep You can hide but you cannot run."

"my ex: sometimes I forget why we ever broke up me: when you do that sigh thing I can hear your nose hair"

"My sister married a black man He's a lawyer. So now I have a brother in law."

"Roses are Grey, Violets are Grey... I am color blind. :("

"Why did the parrot wear a raincoat ? Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated !"

"Is there a stripper named ""Eggs Over Easy"" yet?"

"LIFE LESSON: Never do anything which you don't want to explain to the Paramedics."

"I like my women like I like my Scotch. Noice."

"Hot single dads in your area AREN'T WORKING 60 HOURS A WEEK FOR YOU TO AIR CONDITION THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD SHUT THE GODDAMN DOOR."

"I wish the entire planet could come together as one and agree to refer to Kanye as Kanye Kardashian so we can bask in his shattered ego."