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Joke of the Day

"Saturday usually #followfriday"

"I masterbate because I'm the only one with standards low enough to fuck me. - Bo Burnham"

"What do you call a fat man in a bath ? Tubby."

"When I asked if you'd like to go out on a date sometime, I meant with me."

"I once knew a bald guy who liked to draw rabbits on his head but from a distance they looked like hares"

"Help me reddit. I've quit smoking and I'm gaining weight Before, I only had to reach into my pockets to feel a little lighter."

"Why is E the only good letter? Because every other letter is not E!"

"Why do white girls only travel in packs of 3's? Because omg they can't even."

"To the man that stole my copy of Microsoft Office I will find you. You have my word!"

"I keep pushing the potato button on the microwave, but alas, no potato. :("