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Joke of the Day

"You can put the word ""blood"" in front of ""oranges"" and people will still eat them. Don't even try it, bananas."

"Best part of cleaning the apartment is putting new magazines on the coffee table so you can look cultured for the guests you don't have over"

"Why are Muslims so good at driving at night? Because that's when they brake fast."

"What did the Hispanic chef say when he went down on his girlfriend? ""Umami!"""

"What should have tipped off the airline ticket sellers on 9/11? When the terrorists asked for anything cheaper than one-way."

"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? ...Dr. Dre"

"What do you get when you mix yoga and scouting? Concentration camps."

"""Um, can we get like three baguettes popping out of the top of that sack of groceries?"" - Most all film directors"

"I asked a fetus if it wanted some food, and it replied: 'no thanks... ... I gestate.'"

"""Why don't you cool it on the dressmaking,"" I suggested to my wife. ""You seamstressed."""