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Joke of the Day
"just heard someone pronounce the H in wheel so I'm gonna need a minute"
Next Joke
"While in prison, I asked the Calvinist, ""Why did you kill your family?"" He answered, ""I had to know."""
"What is green, sings and can be found in the fridge? Elvis Parsley"
"How many Apple users does it take to change a lightbulb? None. When the bulb goes, they just replace the house."
"Pretty certain I'm gonna drop down on one knee and propose to the first woman I ever win an argument with..."
"""You're sure you understand stock trading?"" ME: Yep ""Then why (holds up card) did you trade our Google shares for a Charizard?"""
"Having to get just a cucumber at the store can be awkward. Especially if you panic & say, ""It's not what you think, it just for a salad."""
"Hey girl are you a Sony Pictures movie because I wanna [end of joke redacted due to foreign pressure]"
"If there's one thing I really can't stand when I'm drunk, it's up."
"Why are there no black cults? Everyone drinks the kool-ade on the first day."