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Joke of the Day

"You've been found guilty of murder in the 1st degree. Your sentence is 20 years of being trapped in a FB group message about a baby shower."

"What kind of bee can never make up its mind? A maybe"

"Oxygen and Potassium went on a date. It went O.K."

"Something I don't think we're doing nearly enough of as a society is building giant mysterious structures to confuse future archaeologists"

"Too many people complain about their looks, but not nearly enough complain about their brains."

"I'm so pro-life, I believe life begins at erection."

"Two goldfish are alone in a tank, One says to the other one, ""have any idea how to drive this thing?"""

"Twitter. /twt.r/ (noun) Twit-ur: an omnidirectional toxic sludge pump for the lame and unfunny musings of the imbecilic masses."

"nicest girl - You're the nicest girl and prettier than I have known - You what you want is fuck me - Wow and smarter."

"The first rule of elevator club is don't talk to other members of elevator club."